I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
