this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
