Taylor Swift is so right about you.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
