I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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