I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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