I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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