just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
