My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
