The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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