I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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