i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
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If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
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If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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