What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
