Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
