So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
