He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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