remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
You kept saying you had to be safe.