Is it because I queefed?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
