im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Randomize
