I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
