They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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