There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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