Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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