so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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