i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
