Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
