he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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