The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
