I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
