how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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