Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
