Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
