If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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