ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
