we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
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