I think I am morally bankrupt
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
