you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
