Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
