I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
