Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
no more duck duck goose at the bar
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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