Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
