Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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