The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
