tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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