i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
being pregnant is like rehab
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
