He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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