can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
