it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize