I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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