"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
