They should really pass out barf bags in church
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
