Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
