Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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