He disabled his match.com account in front of me
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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