I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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