tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
