Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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