remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
