Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
