Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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