cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
