i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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