she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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