So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
