How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize