He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
it's great music for shaving your balls
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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