Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
