Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
